Archive for March, 2015
When a plate breaks in half, it can easily be fixed. If that same plate breaks again, it could possibly be fixed. But if that same plate breaks again and again and again, you will be left with thousands of tiny pieces…and that becomes close to impossible to put back together.
Of course I am not talking just about plates. I am talking about relationships as well.
If you continuously do things that put pressure on a relationship or create unnecessary arguments, it will eventually be beyond repair.
Just because something breaks doesn’t mean it is broken. When a thing becomes broken, it becomes unusable.
Before your relationship becomes broken, mend it or become consciously aware to not keep breaking it. Because once its broken it’s lost forever. Even a plate that is glued together will never be as beautiful as the original.
Today I completely give up my need to be right. In doing so, I choose peace. I no longer need to defend my opinion, my beliefs or my religious views, or force my ideas onto anyone.
When I am no longer needing to be right, I cannot engage in an argument with anyone or being insulted or hurt by anyone. I move in acceptance and love. My EGO does not have any power over me.
The need to be right means I live within limits and closed mindedness. I have closed my heart to new concepts and to people. I am rigid and find it difficult to make friends or for that matter keep friends.
The need to be right cost’s me opportunities, peace of mind and my happiness.
Today and everyday from this point, I choose to not need to be right in every conversation I have with anyone I engage with.
I choose to let it be and therefore be free.
Do you know that some people do not know how to be happy? These people are so used to misery, they will do everything within their power to stay miserable. Misery is the only familiar thing to them and this becomes their default emotion.
These people have a set of rules which they live by and have a need to prove to the world how right they are about how their life is . They want to say to the world, “Look, no one loves me, no one cares about me, they treat me bad, I am nothing, I am treated like dirt.” They go on to say “Now can you see how I am a victim of my life? I have no choice but to be miserable!”
The expected response from the person that the story is being told to is, “Oh no, you are so right, poor you, shame!”
The moment they get this reply, the story teller receives a false sense of being loved. Pity and sympathy are confused for love, and when this is the case, the feeling of being loved, does not last and so the story telling and self sabotage must continue so that more pity and sympathy can be received.
This is a very sad case indeed. This person doing this will always create situations or even attract situations that reflect their inner thoughts and feelings. They have gotten so used to not knowing what it means to be loved, that pain becomes a drug. They become addicts to misery. In fact in some cases they may even require a daily dose of their fix. No matter how well things will be going for them, no matter how wonderful their relationships are, they will say something or interpret an event to be miserable, leaving the other person rather confused as to what just happened.
So, what do you do if you are this type of person and what do you do to deal with this sort of person?
If you are this person:
You are allowing your past to dictate your present experience. You do not have to live your present moment through the memories of the past. You can start anew now and create something incredible now. People are not out to get you. Most people are kind by default. All arguments or hurt is generally caused some misunderstanding. Instead of getting angry,try communicating and expressing yourself more. You may discover that the intentions of the other person was not vindictive in any way. Know that you are loved regardless of circumstance or what you can offer the world or someone. You are loved for you. You do not need to earn it or do anything to deserve it. You are loved unconditionally. Surround yourself by people that love you in such a way until you become the source of love yourself and your addiction to misery is cured.
If you are the person dealing with the misery addict:
Treat them the way you would treat any addict. You do not allow them to die or to destroy their life. You do not have to play their game and be dragged along for the drama. Choose to be the best friend or support structure for them. Continuously give them love. Sometimes this may have to be a bit of tough love. Constantly remind them that they are loved. You can even imagine love being sent to their heart from yours. We are all connected energetically. Your intention for them to feel loved will be felt, even on on subtle level. Do not allow them to determine how you experience your day. If you allow them to decide your mood for the day, then you are just as powerless as they are. You are letting your own happiness lie in the hands of external situation or person.
If you require support, please message me and I will be honored to support you no matter which side of the fence you are on.
A very good friend sent me an interesting message. He said, “I have always been a fan of how you love so fearlessly.”
I smiled. That was really so well expressed of who and how I am.
What does that mean though? How do you love fearlessly?
I can tell you that I have lost more than I have loved, but the paradox is I have also gained more than I have loved. I once flew 7500 km to keep a promise and to tell a girl I loved her straight into her eyes, only to have her reject me on my birthday, 6 hours before my flight out of the country. That may sound painful and yeah it is. But I would do that all over again a thousand times and will continue to do so as well.
To love fearlessly is to have infinite courage and strength. It means you have an emotional bullet proof vest on. Bullet proof vests do not protect you from the impact. It protects you from dying. No matter what anyone does to you, you pick yourself up and you go on your next adventure.
I do not find any value in having to fall in love. I want to live in such a way that I am aways falling in love. The joy is not what you experience in the end. It’s what you are experiencing in the middle. When you skydive, the thrill is while you are falling, not when you have fallen.
It is this state that you want to be in.
If being in love is dependent on what the other person says or does then this is not love. This is conditional love. Pseudo love. Fake love. Love need not be returned. Love that is expected is usually returned with disappointment. What is most important is that you love! Is that your entire being is filled with this energy. This becomes fuel for you to drive you to many successes.
Most people say that they will never love again due to all the pain or their heart is too broken or that they can never trust again… Let me share my philosophy, which is that my past and present experiences does not dictate my future experience. Yesterday is not today and is not tomorrow, just as an apple is not an orange nor a grape. Each relationship or opportunity is new and so is every person. However if you carry the same beliefs you will have the same experience. You cannot run from yourself. You carry your stuff everywhere you go, just as you carry your luggage while travelling. It does not matter what has happened to you in the past, it can be different today!
It is possible to be in a constant state of love. People confuse this for the first few months of infatuation in a relationship. They also confuse it to mean you must be in love with a person. You can love your family, your friends, your phone, Friday, you car, your cat! I have about 80 years on this planet. This is not enough to love and give love and express my love. And you think you cannot stay in love? This is a waste of a life.
I do not care for love not being returned. Because if I truly love, then the love that leaves my heart is returned to it’s source in an instant!!!
Each chance you get to love, do it. Speak your heart. Go the distance. Do whatever it takes. This doesn’t just apply to relationships. It applies across the board.
Love until it hurts, because it will hurt more until you love.
If you have the courage to love, you have truly lived.
How long is a lifetime?
You could give me a number in years, but that isn’t what I am asking. Time is relative, and also very deceptive. If you are reading this, then it is very likely that at least a third or half of your life has gone by. How long did it take you to get to this point?
If you contemplate on that you will realise a very shocking truth. It feels likeI have no idea how I arrived to this moment in time. It almost feels like I just got here yet it’s been 30 years. If you think the next 30 years is a long time, think again.
What are you going to do with that time?
I have always believed that time management is false. No can can manage time. You can however manage what you do in that time.
I want to live in this time. To be alive is not to live. If a doctor checks a patients pulse he may declare the patient alive. This means the person has a heart beat and is breathing. This is not the same as living. To live is to love. To love is to do great things.
A great thing has got nothing to do with the size of the task. As far as I am concerned, feeding a single person is the same as feeding a thousand. The number doesn’t matter. The fact that you did something does.
Life gave you this experience of your life. What are you giving back to life?
Make sure your life is lived by making a meaningful contribution to the lives of others. Every time you help one person live their dream and step into their purpose, a thousand doors and hands will reach out to help you live yours.
Don’t waste this precious time you have.
If 2015 was your last year on earth, what would you do? How would you want to leave here? What is your gift to the world?