Archive for June, 2012

25 ways to make sure you get Dumped

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1. Never listen to your partner.

2. Call them names.

3. Keep a check list of all the things you did for them and wait for it to paid back.

4. Do not give them time and space to themselves.

5. Talk to them while texting on your phone.

6. Spend all your time on work.

7. Compare your partner to your ex or your mother/father

8. Be nice all the time and never be a challenge.

9. Agree with everything they say and do.

10. Do not take the time to learn more about their dreams.

11. When you fight, pick on the past A LOT.

12. Go through his or her messages on their email or phone.

13. Make everything about you.

14. Do not make the time to be intimate.

15. Do not show gratitude when they do something for you.

16. Say “me too” when they say “I love you”

17. Let go of his/her when you meet your friends.

18. Never make the time to sit down and talk for hours.

19. Tell them how stupid their favourite things are.

20.  Reply with one word answers such as “ok, yes, no, yep”

21. Spend more time with your friends then with your partner.

22. Break your all your promises and make the same mistakes over and over again.

23. Keep on complaining and being negative about everything in your life.

24. Insist that you are always right.

25. Never be open, honest and clear.

 

Until we meet again…happy loving.

Love,

Hitesh

Time to get married

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My grandmother picked up a wedding card recently – yet another one from an unknown far off cousin I have never met – with such joy in her voice! “Oh happy days, he is finally getting married!” I am certain you are familiar with this scenario or at the very least have been at the end of words such as “When are you getting married? Do you have a steady partner? or Don’t you think it is time to get married now?”

From my observation, I have noticed that grandparents / parents born in the 1950s and earlier seem to be on a mission to get you married. It is as though, life just cannot go on if you do not succumb to getting married. 99% of the married of the people I know, who are married for at least 30 years all tell me, “Hitesh, there is no need to rush into a marriage, in fact better still, don’t get married.”

Don’t get me wrong, these people actually happen to love their partners. I doubt they could go a day without their partners – but the message to me is that there is more to life than getting married. It is not something that HAS to be done and it is not mandatory. The old school type of thinking is that – you go to school, you do well, you go to university, you study hard, you get a good job, you get married, you have kids, you work hard, you work harder, you retire and you die. This is life. Well, this is what they believe life is. At one stage I actually believed that my grandparents want me to get married so badly so that I could have sex. That thought was very close to the truth than you would believe! Our grandparents (with all due respect to them, have had more than half a century of experience which results in some wisdom), are really functioning from a “survival of the fittest” mode. They want you to get married, so that you may spread your seed, and add to the family. The more kids you have the better, as this means you have more members in the clan to fight of animals or to protect the family from any other dangers that may arise. It is not a question of – “Are you happy ? Are you living according to you values? Are you following your heart and living your dreams?” No. The question is, “Can you get married and procreate ?” They seem to take this duty that they have bestowed up themselves very seriously.

You will be happy to hear that times are changing. People are changing. Parents are now having, one or no children and many are considering adopting as an option and the focus now is on both women and men working to sustain the family home, with both parents emphasizing the importance of success, without demanding a wedding.

The purpose of marriage is not to have children. It is to allow you to see yourself as you are, it is to allow you to bring yourself to balance and it to allow you to have support at any given time. Marriage allows you to share your best times and your worst times with your best friend – and face all adversity hand in hand. The children that you have come through you, and not from you and are an expression of the love that you share for one another. Quantity does not equal quality. You do not need a soccer team. Rather have one child and give him or her the best you can.

Until next time – stay awesome and out of the wedding trap. Love, Hitesh

Don’t think Positive

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Ever since “The Secret” movie / book came out all I ever hear is people telling me “Be positive!” I also hear people say “I am always positive” or “I am positive about my life”.

Let me share something with you – I am not an advocate of positive thinking and people that tell me how positive they are makes me say to myself “Oh God, not another one!” The only time I would tell someone to think more positively – is when they are thinking too negatively. You think positive to bring yourself back to balance. You can NEVER think positive all the time, or think negative all the time without you getting frustrated with yourself and the world. You think both positive and negative thoughts and together they keep you grounded or balanced. Too much of either and you are in trouble.

The “Lies” about “Love”

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*note the love I speak of here is relationship love and NOT divine love.

Let’s face it. We humans are compulsive liars. We lie all the time. We especially lie when it comes to “love.” From my experience with relationships and counseling hundreds of couples, I know that we make many promises to our partner that we never keep. We promise to never cheat, hurt or leave them, yet we do it anyway. We also say to them that this love is so special and so amazing. Yet, you said the same thing to your previous partner. You feel like nothing is as great and blessed as this love you guys share – but this is the same feeling you had before.

See you later

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How many times have you had someone tell you this just before you or they depart? “See you later!” These words are one of hope and love. Unfortunately, we all know how life works. Here today – Gone tomorrow. It is more like, here now, gone the next moment. No one knows when we have to exit this stage and when our role will come to an end.

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